2011 going and gone

Like all years 2011 has been kinda bumpy. But while the rest has generally been good, 2011 was generally not a good year for me. Pple walked into my life, stayed briefly and left; some walked out briefly and came back. My beloved grandma left us forever without a chance for me to say goodbye… I made more mistakes; crashed more times than I ever wanted.

Granted, there were still highlights. I have had the chance to be part of the behind the scenes for tv productions I never thought I would have. I flew to different countries for work and some, again, places I would never have had the chance (at least not that I see in the near future). I had the chance to work in a bar (and fared decently). Worked in restaurants too. Pushed myself more on closeup magic…

But you see, despite these, 2011 will forever leave me with one of my biggest regret in my life. I probably hurt people although I never wanted to. I learnt human relationship isn’t as simple as we’d like it to be. And I started understanding ‘lonely’ better than I think I should have.

I learnt too, a dilemma and what it can do to you… Perhaps not on the surface but deep inside.

2012 will be as challenging as any other. Perhaps more. I have a seven days break and as unwilling as I am to miss the event, I know down inside I prob need it. And then I will be back with new vigor and scale the mountains (or maybe little cliffs) the year brings to me.

(oh yes, I have no ‘resolutions’ per se, just that hopefully I can do all that I need to to the best of myself. And as J C would quote Yoda “do or do not, there is no try”.)

Time for me to sleep – it’s 100 days anniversary since grandma passed… They say she might return to visit in our dreams… I’ve been waiting for that, but she seems to be angry with me. I haven’t seen her yet perhaps she will tonight.. I hope..